It’s been a weird couple of months… I mean, I announced my divorce on Facebook, while everyone else was writing their engagement or pregnancy announcements. So, since it’s been about a week since we made it “Facebook Official”, I figured I’d post it on here, just for the sake of keeping my life on the blog as real as possible.
Here’s what I wrote on FB:
This is important. *warning- divorce*
If you’d have asked me, on my wedding day, if I’d get divorced- I’d have laughed in your face. Why would you marry someone to divorce them? & yet, three years after our marriage, I flew to Colorado- my husband’s new home, to sign divorce papers.
So, in the interest of helping the world determine how to feel about our pending divorce, I’ll let you in on how we feel.
You’re happy to get a divorce? How does that make any sense? In terms of the world, it doesn’t. In terms of Jen & Dylan, it couldn’t be more on brand.
Two people, who did a “tour de Midwest” for the last five years, who have always been the “old married couple”, who lived “the life” because of Dylan’s career, were just giving up on each other? I mean, that’s what the boomers think about the 50% divorce rates in the country, so we’re just contributing to a statistic.
On the contrary… the proof in fighting for each other, came from removing the dark cloud that loomed above us for over a year, and removing that cloud, came from removing the marriage. The result is simple: two people, who don’t have to lose each other, who don’t have to suffer, who are allowed to live separately, but still be in each other’s lives.
Over the past couple of months, our relationship jumped to the best place it had ever been. We communicated, we laughed, we joked, we lived separately, and we knew the result of the marriage, giving us the ability to move away from the fact that we spent our entire twenties at a war with each other, in a relationship that just wasn’t working. We joke about our future significant others being okay with the fact that I’m going to Denver in June for Justin Bieber, and we hope they’re okay with the fact that Dylan’s coming on family vacation.
Does this make sense to any of you? Probably not. But Jen and Dylan Salisbury are thriving as Jen Salisbury & Dylan Salisbury, and we’re going to continue. The dogs are currently in Indianapolis, but together temporarily. My name is going to stay as a Salisbury, because I don’t want to remove that part of my life. My wedding ring won’t be pawned, and my dress won’t be burned, and truthfully- I’m not sure if the world would ever know, if we never told them.
The future of the Salisbury’s is bright, regardless if there’s a piece of paper signaling the legitimacy of us. Dylan’s going to keep tearing up the airwaves and running shit in Colorado Springs. Jen’s going to continue cleaning up children’s vomit by day, and slinging beers by night. We’re really okay, and we’re not suffering. We don’t need condolences, or a slew of “I’m sorrys”, because we’re not. This is how life goes sometimes, and we’re still leaning on each other.
With love, the Salisburys. ❤️
Here’s how I feel one week later…
Dylan and I have FaceTimed every single day. I got off the airplane and filed the divorce at the court house. I said goodnight, and he responded. I sent him his final piece of divorce paperwork in the mail. We fought about taxes, because how did we make so much money, and where did it go???? We’re navigating this “new normal”, and I truly love him. Maybe not as the husband he once was to me, but this different love is almost better. The way our communication has changed, and also how it hasn’t has got to be confusing for pretty much everyone, but it works for us.
All I can say, is Dylan is my best friend. He’s got this weird way of wedging himself into the deepest part of my heart, and he’s sitting there watching The Ranch on Netflix, and I’m just letting him live in there because I never want to live in a world where Dylan isn’t a part of it.
So, with that. We’re surviving, maybe thriving, and probably also going to be okay. This is weird for everyone, except us, and with that- I better go text him about that fact that Ellie SHIT ON THE CARPET AGAIN.