April 2018, Lifestyle

It’s The End Of The Road

You’ve probably seen it on Social Media,

I’ve been slightly teasing a new job, traveling for a new job, and just having a lot of changes happening in life- which is true. I figured giving you a little bit of a life update in general, would be a good idea- and then yes, let’s talk “new job”. 

First things first, I cut all my hair off. Did I officially mention that on the blog yet? Because, if not- here we are. I have spent the last 12-13 years with long hair, most of it breaking off because I’d rather have it dead than cut. I think 7th or 8th grade was the last time my hair was this short, and I didn’t understand the concept of a hair straightener, nor did I appreciate my curls, so I’d brush it into a big ol’ bunch of mess everyday and deal with it.

As far as this time around goes, I’m obsessed. When I dyed my hair blonde (which was supposed to be balyage and ended up being a full head of highlights- no thanks to Method Salon), I figured I’d just keep it long and keep going blonder. Until one Sunday I got it in my head that I needed a haircut, so there was nothing else to it. I went in, asked the lady at Great Clips (collective gasp from the readers) to chop it, and had her go shorter three times. I think Dylan likes my long brown hair, but for right now he’s going to have to appreciate my short medium blonde hair, because I’m not going back anytime soon.

The reason I cut my hair was because I knew I was quitting my job, and all I wanted was a fresh start. I didn’t want to have to throw it in a top knot every single day again, and I didn’t want to just have this lump of hair hanging out all the time, I wanted to be able to dress up or down and not have all this dead weight in the way. Great decision- 10/10. 

So, then I quit my job. In the four full weeks of unemployment, I’ve done more for myself than I have in the last four years. It’s hard to say something like that when you spend a lot of time at home, alone, but for once I wasn’t sitting in a bunch of dread. I made friends, went to watch baseball games at bars, went to new restaurants and new places. I took the dogs for walks and to try the dog park (but NOT the one where you need a membership to join because our dogs are not elite and there’s a wait list for that…) I wrote and created over fifteen new blogs about things that I’ve been interested in lately, or interested in sharing with the world. I’ve read probably twelve books since becoming unemployed, and I’ve found reading to become such an important hobby, that Dylan constantly teases me about. (Especially since I don’t know how to pronounce Epitome- and haven’t my ENTIRE LIFE) I get my nails done, and take care of how I look, and I play stay at home mom, and I once even played softball. I’ve taken everything that WAS a comfort zone, and I threw it in the trash with my former boss. I’ve walked away from everything that stopped serving me.

 

Along with this, I’ve been able to attend Dylan’s events, and try new places out with him. He’s been so thankful that I’ve found a job, but I think he’s also been thankful that I haven’t sunk into this anxiety-mode that loomed over my head just two years ago constantly. Sometimes the whole “sharing a car” thing gets to us, and honestly, it’s pretty much the biggest thing that brings drama to our relationship, but it’s miniscule in comparison to what other people are going through. I also get to watch him play hockey on the weekends, and while his team isn’t the greatest- Dylan’s actually really good (except for the fact he thinks he’s in the NHL and keeps trying to check the other team). It’s been fun to watch him do something he loves these last few weeks.

We also went to Prom last weekend, and I had the time of my life. My high school prom was uncomfortable, as I went alone, wore a dress too big for me, and felt like an “outsider” in my group. This prom was great! Dylan convinced me to wear converses under my dress, there was alcohol AT prom, my date HAD to go with me because we were married, and I danced the night away with new friends. Plus, the night ended in a shopping cart at Meijer as we grocery shopped post-prom.

Overall, the past month has been financially taxing, but nothing in comparison to the amount of self-healing I’ve done after a detrimental stint in my previous job. (and I had a lot of healing to do after spending almost a year and a half at a job in Des Moines that was constantly telling me that I was doing everything wrong) I feel like I spent a lot of time chipping away at a whole heaping mountain of anxiety and stress, and now I don’t really feel lost or alone or dramatic anymore. I’m happy. My wallet and the scale aren’t happy, but I am happy.

So, work.

I’ve taken on a coordinator position as a nationally known children’s facility. It serves 6 weeks all the way until middle school aged children in a daily care, pre-school, after-school, and camp setting. It’s new-ish, it’s beautiful, there’s growth potential, and it’s my first “big girl job” where like there’s “set hours” and you can “travel for work” and you don’t have a “set uniform”, and you actually make money. I’m in charge of the school-age program, just hitting that wheel house of the elementary school kids, where I really thrive. I no longer work in the day to day setting with the kids, but rather as an over site on the workings of the entire program. They’re sending me to Arizona next week, and after that Ohio, and that’s literally my first two weeks of my job. Kinda crazy, but going to be something totally new for me.

*I’ve decided, as of now, and probably for a while- I’m going to keep the company out of my social media & off of my blog, just for my own protection. Places like the YMCA are everywhere, facilities like this are not.*

So in other words, leaving the YMCA was super scary, and not having a “official job” for a bit was super hard, but the amount of happiness and growth that I discovered on my own in these last few weeks was totally worth it. 

Life. Is. Good.

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