Okay, let me preface this post quickly: If you do not believe in the third dimension, fifth dimension, ghosts, paranormal spirits, etc. that is fine. This is just something that interests me, and makes me laugh at the life I live, so that’s why I’m sharing it with you!
Now, to catch you up on today’s episode of wtf is Jen’s life… I’ve always believed in ghosts. When I was in fourth grade, I can recall seeing one at the before school daycare I was at. The teacher saw it too. It’s stuck in my brain for nineteen years now, and I can recall the entire situation. About seven years later, I saw another, in the basement of my best friend’s house. A house that was constantly presumed as haunted by a little girl, became more real when I saw her. Ghosts have always fascinated me.
Recently, I’ve seen a lot of spirit orbs in the cameras that I’ve used to guard my home. None since moving to Indianapolis (this new apartment), but had them constantly when I lived with Ellie. And it ranged across multiple states and apartments. Maybe that’s why I am so sad that she’s gone, because this spiritual connection always existed between me and her, that no one else understood.
We’d see orbs on the video camera, or around her in dark pictures, making me wonder if Tess, the family dog was somehow inside Ellie and that’s how she always knew how I felt. I digress.
Then there is the constant communication with my Grandma Colleen. I wear a permanent butterfly on my wrist as a symbol from her, but truthfully, I see her everywhere. She’s the only person who I talked deeply about my divorce to. She’s the only person who knows how I feel at all times. If there’s a bad day, or moment, and I need reassurance, I ask her for a butterfly. Within hours, I’ll see one, knowing that she’s guiding my path. And I even challenge her. I’d say “Grandma, help, is divorce the right choice? I need to see eight butterflies” and she’d do it, like it was nothing for her. And so I listened. There were two times that seeing her changed my life. First, we still lived in Des Moines. My ex-husband was debating a move to Indy. I told Grandma I needed a solid sign that I belonged in Indianapolis. I was walking Ellie, and got back to the apartment, and saw hundreds of our butterflies. They covered the entire parking lot, every plant, everywhere. We moved two weeks later.
The second, and the one that still blows my mind, happened in 2018. It was at the beginning of me questioning my marriage and hating myself every single day. I remember walking to my car after work and saying something along the lines of “I can do it anymore, I need to know that I’m going to survive this”. That time, it wasn’t a butterfly… it was her kitchen. It was the distinct smell of Grandma Colleen’s house, and it filled my car. The sweet smell of the potpourri or whatever she used in the house, and it was an unmistakable smell. I cried until I was blind, and then pulled over to cry some more. That’s when I knew, she would always be there.
Fast forward a little bit more, and my body felt like it’s been changing. Not in the physical and emotional aspect, that I constantly talk about on the blog, but something deeper. Almost like I was transforming. Of course, because the FBI agent in my phone knows me, I started seeing about how the earth was shifting and some people were ascending into the fifth dimension. (While I see this partially as a joke, I do kinda believe it) I’d urge you to research it, but in August I was feeling all the mental exhaustion signs, and I truly believe I ascended. While I’m well aware of the amount of crazy that comes from that sentence, the transformation has made me weirdly in-tune with the world around me.
So, then, the whole reason for this blog. The glitches in the matrix. Where things that are supposed to happen, aren’t happening correctly. Some people see birds in the sky, frozen. Or something falling, but not actually moving… Or, in my case, the same thing happening twice. One day I was in Walmart, and I saw a man walking down an aisle away from me. I distinctly remember where he was in the aisle, the way he was walking, and how his right hand was up to his ear with his phone. I continue walking through the store, and double back to that spot… And the man, was doing the same thing, in the same spot, the same way, again. He was walking, but wasn’t GOING ANYWHERE.
I thought it was weird, and I saw these videos on the internet where it was happening to spitiual people, as if the universe was telling them to prepare for something, because they were able to see what they weren’t supposed to. The next day, I’m at another Walmart, and the same thing happened again. A man was walking towards my car in the parking lot, I put the cart away, got in the car, looked behind me, and didn’t see the man, so I assumed he went inside. So I back out, turn the wheel, and again, the man is walking in the same spot to my car. The reason that I remembered it, was because he was dropping his keys off the key ring on his pinky, and had to catch his keys. It happened THE SECOND TIME TOO.
I’m not saying that this makes me sound normal, but sometimes I feel like all these little signs, the butterflies, the orbs, the ghosts, and the glitches are the universes way of telling you something…