Oh Child… the brain’s power.
I guess I spent a significant amount of years not doing enough to protect my brain, because I was so focused on protecting other people, and their hearts, and their minds. My focus on others, completely destroyed myself. And in doing so, I wasn’t only hurting myself mentally, it also went into my physical, social, and emotional aspects of my life as well.
One day, while silently crying alone at work, I was approached and talked to like this: “The strongest thing you’ll ever do, is worry about yourself”. It came after 26 years of worrying about everyone else. That day, I realized how incredibly destroyed my brain was. My self image was shot, my friendships were on shaky ground, I was afraid to love anything the wrong way, and I was broken.
I took that medication step, and for the first time, thought I was okay. After two years, and two failed medications, a failed marriage, and finally less tears at work, here’s where I’m at:
Medication didn’t heal me, I healed me. I’m fully functioning on will power. The will to live my best life, prove myself wrong, and let go of the opinions of others. And I know that potentially, life is just going “too good”, and when there’s an up, it’s always followed by a down, but right now I’m not medicated and doing great.
With that being said, I want to say two things on this post that are VERY important to me.
- Medication is a cure to something that is missing inside of your brain. It’s just something that your brain does not produce on its own. Yoga, weed, laughter, reading books, and all those other coping mechanisms can help, but there is not a cure. I do not under any circumstance believe I’m cured. I’ve just found a management technique that helps center me, and handle the day’s ups & downs. It’s what I’m running with right now, and I’m good with it.
- It is okay to have days where you’re not okay. I’ve said that on this blog four hundred and twenty one times. It will never not be true. I will always have bad days, but that doesn’t mean something is wrong with me. It means I’m normal. Often times mental health convinces you that having bad days means you’re unable to save yourself & turns into a downward spiral. Ya’ll, that’s not how it is… Bad days are just that, bad days. You’ll survive them all. I promise.
So. As I said life is good as far as my brain’s concerned today… and as always, I’m here for you. Never hesitate to reach out…