The Present Under Your Tree

Here I am world, unwrap me 19 days early because I am your Christmas present. What. The. Heck happened to me? It was like “oh, woe is me, my life is a mess, but I’m back to blogging” and then I fell off the planet for a casual three more months and…. now it’s December. 

So, in the spirit of giving: Today we’re gonna play catch up again, and I’m going to give you the inside scoop on me, my anxiety, my weight loss, my relationships, and pretty much everything because this time we really are looking forward and mama’s ready to get back in the saddle. 

#1: Anxiety.

I’ve taken control of that little monster inside of my head. I battle it daily with my armor called Lexapro. They told me when they put me on it that I had a 31 out of 32 on the scale for anxiety severity. They also told me that they didn’t think I had depression, but that the Lexapro would hopefully relieve most of those issues that my head created. 

It did.

Lexapro wasn’t supposed to start working for me, or more so, the effects wouldn’t show up until six weeks after I started taking it. It took my body four days. FOUR DAYS. After years of my brain having control over me, it didn’t anymore. I didn’t constantly feel a pit of dread in my stomach. I didn’t constantly cry (I still cry a lot though…) over absolutely nothing. I didn’t hate the entire world around me, want to sit in a bed, then panic because I was alone in a bed without any support. I answer text messages, I leave the house, I laugh with my coworkers and friends. I don’t totally hate everything. 

Now, let me explain this: If you’re thinking about being on medication for you anxiety- DO IT. That stigma, about how medication makes you weak, is so so so wrong. Taking Lexapro has made me so strong. I’ve started to actually think about my future, thinking about myself, thinking about the things that can go RIGHT. Finally.

#2: Vacations

We went to New York, we went to Arizona, we go to the freakin’ Caribbean in two weeks, it’s been crazy. I survived taking off and landing twice without sitting next to someone I knew, so we’re making progress there too. I’m planning a full New York and full Scottsdale part two post, but let’s just say, the queen loves to travel. & all this travel wouldn’t happen with a baby (Dylan, listen to me, let’s be selfiiiiiiiiish)

#3: Musically Gifted

Taylor Swift and Maroon 5 got to meet me, so that’s good.

#4: Day to Day life

Day to day, we’re still surviving. Mainly, I’ve been going through a few areas of growth personally, and a lot of stretching professionally, and it’s been a crazy year. As far as my job goes, the children that I work with are unlike any other group of children I’ve ever met. Every single one of my seventy something children are so incredible. I’ve never felt so connected to these children, their families, their lives and their growth. Dylan doesn’t get it, but these kids are my kids. I love them all. 

Other than work, the rest of my time is just spending money. It’s a hot mess. I can not stop buying shoes online, and it’s the most stressful thing ever. I can’t stop. I need a sugar daddy, or at least a splenda daddy to fund my shoe addiction (Dylan says no, FYI). But for real, I’m thinking about looking for a second job in the new year, because I can’t pay off my debt and continue to vacation and buy shoes, so if I plan to play hard- I need to work hard. 

#5: 2019

So, this next year, there’s five things that I want to bring / continue to share on Let’s be honest friends, maybe one out of these five things are going to happen, but today we’re going with a few goals. 
1. More collaborations. I’ve been doing so many on Instagram, but I want to bring a little hustle to this platform as well. 
2. Easy fashion posts. I’m constantly online shopping. I also wear cheaply cute clothes (but like, I’m over the SheIn obsession). I think that it is worth sharing online, because ya’ll need some of the things that I own, I swear. 
3. Anxiety, Relationships, Real. I mean, I have no filter between my brain and my mouth, so why should I have one between my brain and my fingers? 
4. Fitness posts. I mean, I’ve done so well with the accountability thus far (eye roll emoji), so why not continue to share the dumpster fire on the internet? (P.S. I’m back on weight watchers)
5. Favorites posts. I want to share a few of my favorite things with you all, because just like my cheap fashion, sometimes I find really awesome things that Dylan literally does not give a shit about, so I have to share them somewhere.
5 1/2. My vacations, my Diet Coke addicitions, my days at work, my Instagrams, my whole life basically.

Well, hopefully you see another blog from me before 2019… Happy Thursday!

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